One of the things I’ve been struggling with throughout my almost two years working is exercising restriction against “freedom.” Indeed, being free is our preferred state of being–after all, who likes to be controlled all the time? However I’ve been contemplating with the concept that I have to ask: is being able to do whatever we want considered as freedom?

The most frightening part in being able to do whatever I want is the lack of control. Yes, being able to do whatever we want is fun, but the consequence from it is also fun: tonnes of paperwork, abandoned assignment, even–well–zero mark on the test paper for deciding that drawing is more fun than doing those Trigs problems.

So what is freedom? Of course, it’ll be fun if freedom comes without consequences. If students can have the freedom to choose, no one will go to school and they will be millionaires at their productive age and be well off at old age. But life does not work that way, even in the most unfair situation: being well off at the start does not necessarily mean being able to do whatever that we want and still be well off at the end.

I believe that freedom is being able to do what we want and be ready with the consequences. I feel more confident to submit myself under someone’s authority, to obey rules and orders, to do the given tasks as asked. Yes, it’s frustrating and tiring and sometimes stupid; but at the same time it’s easier to deal with the result at the end because… I’m just doing my job.

I feel more confident to do something creative according to the norms and principles that govern the society. Yes, it’s sometimes old-fashioned and even contradictory to what we want; but at the same time it gives me the security and sense of belonging as well as showing my respect to those around me.

I feel more confident to do what I want and be ready with the consequences. Yes, I ignore my work sometimes and have to lose nights of sleep because I have to keep up with the work flow and time; but hey, I am ready for not sleeping for a few days–even if I can be cranky by the evening of the day after. So what is in it to blame when I am ready to accept its outcome?

What is freedom? Thinking of it as someone my age (sob!) is tough indeed, as well as practising freedom on others. I’m still weak against those puppy eyes, but exercising power to those who still have to learn surely worth something. Yes, it is tough and all, but I guess it’s a life lesson: life is a matter of cause-and-effect. How you deal with your self-induced effects should reflect on your maturity level; just be aware that the safety net won’t hold you forever. (^_−)☆

I wish I know what the hell I’m talking about. orz
*pulls out The GUNDAM for the fun of it* /Japan geek exits